Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

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scallenger
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Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by scallenger »

Okay, the basis of this thread is fairly simple. Pretend you are one of the designers on the Trespasser team as it was being made! You can be anyone you want, either a specific person, or just a "random worker" during the time it was made. You can be as off-the-wall, satirical, blunt, and controversial as you want! And, unless other admins object, as colorful with language as you want!

The Rules: It should only be limited to ONE quote per post! The only exception is ONE OTHER quote in response to your other one. However, your quote can either be in response to the quote above yours (someone else on the team responding to what was said) or an entirely unrelated remark! You should put your quotes in the "quote" format, and if you have any actual comments or other words you just want to say in regards to these quotes, just use normal text. That's it!

It should be said now that of course NONE of the quotes you will find in here will be actual quotes said by anyone on the team. This is all done purely for fun and amusement, and isn't meant to personally offend anyone on the team, or otherwise. If you think you could be offended just by the nature of this thread, simply don't read it.

I guess I will start this thing off!
Guys... I can't even walk around without looking down at my boobs. I literally just can't stop doing it. I mean, I like it. I like it A LOT, actually. But, is this really necessary? -- Random Team Member
YES. -- All The Other Team Members
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by hppav »

Can we make them jiggle? -- Another random team member
There is an awkward silence as everyone stares at him for a moment.
That's a brilliant idea! -- Seamus
They try to implement it.... End up breaking the entire game.
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by scallenger »

Well, crap! If we can't make them jiggle, why the hell are we keeping that Pine Valley level? The ONLY reason why that level would have been fun would be to see her boobs jiggle while pulling on all the levers and crap! -- Lead Pine Valley Designer
Quite right! Remove it! If anyone asks, it had too many bugs. -- Seamus Blackley
[The True History Of Pine Valley's Rise And Fall]
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by awesome24712 »

I suppose it is unsettling, but why aren't there any Russians in this game? ~Joseph Stalin
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by RantosaurusRex »

From the archives of Dreamwork's Interactive studios. FULL AUDIO TRANSCRIPT
Unknown: God, I'm really sick of these stupid ideas everyone's been suggesting recently.

Seamus: I know right? It's been ridiculous! One guy even suggested Pine Valley to be added back in! Pfft!

Unknown: You know what would be a great idea, though? To add tons of explosive weapons! I mean bazookas, grenades, cherry bombs, RPG's, air strikes, the whole 9 yards. I think it would fit well into the game.

*Seamus goes silent for 5 seconds before continuing* Seamus: What? No! That's retarded! How the hell is the player supposed to feel scared with a bunch of fucking explosives?! Why would they even be on the island?! Just....my God....AAAAARGHHHH *Incomprehensible noise*

Unknown: Well why are all those other weapons on the island, huh? Didn't think of that one Seamus!

*There is a silence that goes on for 1:25 seconds, before sounds of a struggle occur. Various grunting noises are heard, sounds of objects breaking, obscene language, and multiple sounds of impact. The silence ends at a loud crack*

Seamus: Oh my God! The hard drive containing the final, bug free, finished build just got destroyed! Why?! We just lost a whole years worth of work! *sounds of sobbing*

Unknown: All we have left is Build 116, and that one is so unstable and buggy! I blame you for this.

*There is another long period of silence, this one goes on for 1:46 seconds*

Seamus: Let's hope nobody finds out about this...
*Audio ends*
Trespasser's secrets must be revealed!

Lurk! Lurk! All day long! Lurk! Lurk!
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by scallenger »

Haha that was funny. :D But you broke the rules set in the thread! ;)
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by Draconisaurus »

Project Supervisor wrote:*looks over the shoulder of a programmer playing pong on his computer* Dennis... What are we looking at here?
Programmer wrote:*turns around* I told you, NO MORE QUOTES FROM THE DAMN GAME!!!!
Project Supervisor wrote:LMAO! Sorry man I couldn't resist.
Programmer wrote:Alright, that's it... *proceeds to break the left arm of the project supervisor*
Project Supervisor wrote:FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT
Programmer wrote:*while the project supervisor continues to scream* You love the game so much, now you get to do it for real! :)
Project Supervisor wrote:........
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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by tatu »

Draconisaurus wrote:
Project Supervisor wrote:*looks over the shoulder of a programmer playing pong on his computer* Dennis... What are we looking at here?
Lol!!
Active project: Trespasser: Isla Sorna
Status:
BE-PH1: Released
PH2-IT: Pre-released
PL-SUM: In production

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Re: Funny Trespasser Designer Team NON-Quotes!

Post by Dino_Rocker »

Project Lead wrote:So I heard you have some ideas for the game.
New Programing Hire wrote:Hands lead floppy disk This contains my idea document.
An Hour Later
Project Lead wrote:You are a moron, we need to ship this year!, and we NEED do this in a few months
New Programing Hire wrote:Lets just abandon all our work, and make a better game, besides we could wait and see what new games are going to do.
Project Lead wrote:Fine, I will ask the execs for more time
30 mins later
Project Lead wrote:Too bad, we can't get any more- Glances at the hire's screen with a high poly, 32bit color dino standing still and making happy noises while the player is looking at the dino Holy shit how did you make a engine with functional mood A.I and 32bit color textures
New Programing Hire wrote:A RNG decides what the dino mood is, and some dinos are more likely than others to become mad or peaceful
End
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