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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:26 am 
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Albertosaurus
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Location: living underground in the middle of freaking nowhere
heh, yes this is the WIP first installment of a short practice fanfic for something far grander...

Recon By Gary “Wolf” Gregory

Part 1

The storm clouds were now noticeably blackening to the north of the island as the boat approached, well, that was just great, the north of the island, where the lab complex was located, when we had departed from Isla Muerta conditions had been merely overcast but now it looked like my job would be inhibited by more than a few aberrant organisms. “we land on the beach?” I asked the captain of the small craft “Emily II” which was now ferrying me to my destination, “No Senor, raptors” was his simple reply, and with this he lifted his shirt to reveal the unmistakable scars of a raptor attack. This left me in the unenviable position of having to swim to the beach avoiding sharks and in these waters who knew what else, so with that I loaded both mf my Beretta 92 handguns and jumped into the warm tropical water, striking out for the lighthouse standing alone among the palms of the beach.

It took little time to reach the squat, concrete lighthouse and discover it was locked as was to be expected, this lighthouse had never held great hope for me of providing anything useful to my task, rather I had headed for this lonely structure for the maintenance road connecting it with the rest of the island. A lone frigate bird passed overhead heading for a brighter and more cheerful place than my destination. My task did not require further delay however and I set off down the desolate road passing through the dense jungle to the heart of the island, a pack of Microceratops occasionally darting through the canopy above voicing their alarm at a creature they had not seen for a long time. With time the jungle gave way to open plains to the right of the road and on the left a paddock with a fairly low but electrified chain-link fence still drawing power from the methane plant which lay at the very heart of all the facilities on this island, from memory I knew the paddock held Celeophysis from experience but it took a pair of binoculars to determine the stocky quadrupeds grazing the plains in the distance to be Triceratops.

At the end of the Celeophysis paddock the country opened into plains on that side as well, here Styracosaurs grazed peacefully on the banks of a small lake fed by a nearby freshwater spring, fortunately their eyesight is less than exceptional and I happened to be downwind of them, though this meant I was safe from their mighty horns, Styracosaurs have a definite smell of armpit to them which makes being downwind of a herd decidedly distasteful.

By the time I reached the other side of the herd I could take little more of the foul aroma of Styrac and was actually relieved to see the swamp I knew to be crawling with unpleasant Palaeozoic creatures. The road elevated on stilts had occasional gaping holes in it and creaked alarmingly but it was far better than daring wade through those murky waters and the unmentionable creatures dwelling in them. As I passed between the huge mossy trees several massive venomous centipedes dropped onto the road deck and most of these were easily kicked into the ghastly depths of the swamp, one particularly large and colourful individual however clung to a branch which slightly overhung the road and stretched itself across my path hissing by expelling air through its spiracles. This hellish creature was certainly brave and intimidating but not quite bright enough for its own good as a swift machete blow to the armoured back of the centipede neatly removed its head causing the body to writhe for several seconds before hanging limply from the branch and slowly loosening its grasp till it fell into the waiting jaws of a truly indescribably ugly crocodilian.

Another relief came at the far end of the swamp as the road became solid again and forked, up to the left to the hatchery, downwards fo the right to the methane capture plant trapping swamp gas and burning it in an automated cycle to keep the island running long after its abandonment. It was at this point I left the maintenance road and climbed a sturdy non-electrified fence into one of the empty herbivore paddocks left behind by InGen’s policy of always having ungrazed areas to move herbivores to when a herbivore paddock elsewhere was overgrazed, the derelict nature of the paddock suited me perfectly and I noted that even the obstacle course which had been built in this paddock for the training of new operatives was in a reasonably untouched state as I dropped into the enclosure, I could have walked further to a gate but that would have taken longer than climbing the fence and in any case seemed less dramatic and I knew that some of the security feeds on the island were still active. The field within the fence sloped increasingly as it climbed the side of a low plateau topped mountain, half way up I had to climb a small rocky escarpment but aside for this the climb was uneventful.

As I neared the flat summit the terrain changed rapidly from rolling grassy slopes to steep cliffs with only one point of access on this side of the mountain, a sharp ridge with breathtaking views of the island below bordering it on three sides, as I climbed this I took out my Delta 68 pistol and checked it was fully loaded as survival far outweighed sightseeing in terms of importance to my assigned task. Soon the summit was reached and before me lay the tall electrified fence of the Albertosaur pen, I had reached the plateau by one of only two passable routes, the other was the main supply road to the laboratories on the other side of the pen I was about to enter and thermal imaging showed that raptors controlled that side of the island, when presented the choice of a lone Albertosaur or even just one pack of raptors a sane man would take his chances with “Old Uncle Albert” as this particular specimen had been nicknamed and it just so happened that if I had taken the supply road there would have been countless packs of raptors against my three guns.

And so with some doubts I flicked the cut-off switch to break the circuit electrifying the gate and drew back the heavy bolt preventing the gate from swinging open, stepping through I heard nothing but the wind in the trees and an occasional bird call, I closed the gate behind me and stepped from the concrete foundations of the fence onto the soft earth of the forest and as I did something in the undergrowth ahead caught my eye, a grey immobile mass.


I know it needs a lot of tweaking... in all honesty this was a hurried job, I've had a busy day, what does everyone think of it so far?

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:36 pm 
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Not bad. It's interesting enough to read, although I found a few of your sentences a bit too long. I do realize some writers have that same style though, I'm just more accustomed to reading my own style of writing.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 10:13 pm 
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Albertosaurus
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Rebel wrote:
Not bad. It's interesting enough to read, although I found a few of your sentences a bit too long. I do realize some writers have that same style though, I'm just more accustomed to reading my own style of writing.
thanks :) I'm no writer really... this was more a test of a technique than something proofread and perfected

I'll release the other installments in less of a hurry

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:10 pm 
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I really don't consider myself a writer either, although I do occasionally type a story out. I'll find a handy one and post it up in small-talk. Oft-times when I go over something I've written, I notice that I'm comma crazy. :oops:

At any rate, creativity comes in all forms and most creative people do enjoy writing, even if they haven't thought of doing it before. At some point, they have something to say, even if they're the only ones listening -


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2009 7:41 am 
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Hmm... I havn't read this >_> as I am about to be shot if I don't get off, but from a skim of it I noticed that you had large paragraphs... usually this is a huge no-no and I remember being attacked by reviewers about it (I should send you a fic that seems to meet most reviewers preferences so you can see what I mean exactly)

Anyways, I plan to read this ASAP! :D

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